So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
