I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
