I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
