Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
