you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
