My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
