This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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