Porn is love you can see.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize