Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
