stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
