how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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