What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
