I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
