my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
