Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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