he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'm really busy with my period
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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