if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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