That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
3 2 1 whiskey
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
