Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Randomize
