butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just wanna soil my oats bro
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
