It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
