I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
it hurts more in the daytime
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Who died my cat blue again?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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