This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
