Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
