We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
