I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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