I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
