I got chris browned last night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize