meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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