Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My dick has a subreddit
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
