I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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