Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize