If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
