i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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