Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
