You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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