She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
