I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
