just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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