I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
