I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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