I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
