We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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