the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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