There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
