my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
