yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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