I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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