Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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