Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
