My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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