Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
