is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Randomize
