discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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