I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
