Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
