Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
