you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
