Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
