wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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