He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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