i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
