I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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