I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize