i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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