took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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