Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
There's always time for handjobs
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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